Only in Ghana

 We arrived in Ghana on April 11^th at our port in Tema.  Although Tema was where our ship was docked, the destination of our trip was Accra, a major city in Ghana that is located about 45 minutes away from Tema.  Luckily, we were provided with an hourly shuttle service to take us to and from Accra.  Although the drive wasn’t anything too scenic, it was still interesting to see the different Ghanaian people on the side of the road, particularly the ones who were carrying large baskets or buckets on their heads.  I didn’t think people still did this!  However, it is extremely common to see a woman carrying what looks like 10 pounds worth of vegetables or grain on her head.  (I still haven’t decided if it’s better or worse for your back and neck.  Either way, it’s quite impressive.)

When we arrived in Accra, we walked around a little bit.  I formulated a few initial impressions of Ghana.  My first was that it was more developed than I had imagined it to be, in that there were restaurants and shopping centers.  However, there weren’t really any skyscrapers and there were only a few tall buildings.  Accra also didn’t seem to be nearly as populated as any of the other cities we’ve visited.  I noticed it was dirty, but not as dirty as India.  The traffic wasn’t great, but the rules of the road seemed much clearer than they had been in China, Vietnam, and India.  The people were pretty homogeneous, which was a big change from Cape Town where there was so much diversity.  However, many of them spoke English and they were all very friendly.  The men in particular were very friendly… and very forward.  They were always trying to sell you something, whether it was a bracelet or the idea of marrying them, they were very persistent.  “No, you don’t want to be my wife?  I have an idea.  You spend a little time with me today and then if you see that you like me, then we get married.  Okay?  Good plan?  I think it’s a good plan.”  (Or maybe they weren’t being any more forward, maybe this was just the first time we could actually understand what they were saying to us.)

We spent the rest of our day at Labadi Beach, a public beach with casual outdoor restaurants, local vendors, and lots of entertainment.  There were crowds of people dancing, playing soccer, and swimming.   There were horse rides along the beach, acrobats, and other performers.  We found a table at a restaurant on the beach and decided to have lunch since we were starving.  We placed our order, sat back, and relaxed.  However, no more than 30 seconds after our waiter left the table, we were greeted by about 5 different locals trying to sell us their products.  They had paintings, bracelets, drums and, you guessed it, more marriage proposals.  We bought a few things but mostly told them that we were eating lunch and would rather they come back later.  For the ones that listened, this meant stand 5 feet away and wait for us to eat lunch.   However, most of the others completely ignored our requests and instead, circled our table until they found someone who was willing to listen to them (in other words, someone who looked like a push-over.)  They would then explain why we “had to buy” their wooden statue because their brother had spent “all day” making it and we “wouldn’t find it anywhere else” –a story that was hard to believe when, just on the other side of the beach, we could see a man making the same exact thing, each one taking no more than 5 minutes.

Our waiter came back with our drinks and told us that our food would be out shortly.  We sat and sipped on our drinks while we waited for our food.  It didn’t take long before the weak ones at the table started to cave.  I looked over and saw my friend being manipulated into buying some of the ugliest pieces of jewelry I’ve ever seen, while others were foolishly overpaying for t-shirts because the man had apparently gone all the way over to the other side of the beach to get them in their size. 

In order to get away from this madness, I walked away from the table to watch some of the performers.  Of course, the first bit of talent I see is a man breaking a glass bottle, eating the pieces of broken glass, and then throwing them back up.  I will forever be scarred from this image.  But before I could even get back to my table, the man who had swallowed & regurgitated the glass bottle was standing in front of me asking for money for watching his performance.  I should’ve known better.  Just when I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, I come back to the table and find Jane getting a manicure!  (What?!)  Not just any manicure, an awful one, and at the table we would soon be eating on. Only in Ghana…

It was no surprise that the next 3 times our waiter came back to the table it was only to refill our drinks and to tell us that our food would still be another few minutes.  It started to become very clear to us that this was all part of their plan: Take a bunch of young American tourists and give them a few drinks—on an empty stomach and in this heat—the random wooden statues start to look pretty appealing.  By the time we did get our our lunch and the bill came, we were lucky we still had money left to pay.  Looking back, if I had to sum up this afternoon in one word it would “circus” because it is the only word I can think of that even comes close to capturing the ridiculousness of this experience.

Day of Silence

In between Capetown and Ghana I participated in “Day of Silence.”  Yes, you heard me correctly—silence for a whole day, meaning no talking.  I did it to take a stand against the bullying and harassment of members of the LBGTQ (lesbians, bisexuals, gays, transgender, and questioning) community.  The day of silence symbolizes the way that LBGTQ members and their allies are silenced.  Earlier this semester I went through the safe zone training so that I could serve as an ally for LBGTQ.  I have a sign on my door to let people know that it is safe for them to come and talk to me.  The sign reads “This is a safe zone.  I am understanding, non-judgmental, and willing to provide an atmosphere of acceptance and assistance for members of the LBGT community.”  Participating in Day of Silence was another way for me to show that I am an ally. 

In my Human Sexuality class, one of the topics we study and discuss is sexual orientation.  We look at its role throughout history and around the world, particularly focusing on the countries we visit.  Doing this allows us to go into each country with an understanding of where it has been and where it presently stands on issues of homosexuality.  What I learned was shocking.  Had I not been taking this class and looking out for it in each country, it probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind.  However, putting myself in the shoes of someone who is LBGTQ, it is impossible to ignore the tremendous consequences that “coming out of the closet” can have on a person’s life.  For example, I learned from one of my gay friends that, in 80% of the countries in the world, it is illegal to be homosexual.  Two of them are countries we have visited—Ghana and Mauritius.  However, even in countries where homosexuality is legal, such as the United States, it is not always safe for a person to come out.

I attended a “coming out” panel earlier in the semester where people shared their experiences of opening up to their friends and family about their sexuality back in the U.S.  Many people said that they had the most difficulty coming out to their families, particularly their parents.  However, once they did, many of them found that their parents were completely accepting, even if it took some time for them to get used to it.  Unfortunately, not everyone’s story was this way.  A few people shared about the way that one or several of their family members have openly expressed disgust or disapproval of homosexuality.  These attitudes have forced them to stay in the closet for years.  This has inevitably created a distance between them and their families and has instilled in them a fear of going back home.  The alternative to this would be spending time at home and constantly living a lie.  Many of the people had experienced so much psychological pain that they admitted to having thoughts of suicide at one time or another. 

Hearing these stories of people coming out to their parents in the United States, I can only imagine a person trying to “come out” in another part of the world, such as South Africa where a woman can be correctively raped if she is suspected of being a lesbian or Brazil where a 19 year old man was attacked and murdered in 2007 for being homosexual.  I thought about what it would be like to travel to one of these countries, knowing that it wasn’t safe.  For this reason I have chosen to be an ally to others on this ship.  Participating in Day of Silence was a way to recognize those who don’t have a voice.

As for keeping the silence, it was extremely difficult.  Not only because I am a huge talker, but also because it fell on a day that I would normally teach yoga.  However, everyone seemed to enjoy the silent yoga class and it allowed me to communicate in other ways.  It was actually quite refreshing.

 

Amy Biehl

While we were visiting the townships in South Africa, we drove along the street where Amy Biehl was murdered in 1993. Amy was an anti-apartheid activist. She was a white woman who graduated from Stanford University and studied at the University of the Western Cape in Cape Town. She was driving one of her black friends back to their home in Guguletu when she was stoned and stabbed to death by a group of black men. Amy was only 26 years old at the time, not much older than I am now. It was impossible not to picture the very scene happening right in front of me—how afraid she must have been, and yet, how brave she had to be for even putting herself in such a situation (being a white woman in South Africa & doing the work that she did) while knowing the risks that were involved.

Hearing about Amy’s death from our cab driver was sad and moving. However, her story was particularly meaningful to us because just a few days earlier Linda Biehl, Amy’s mother, had come onto our ship and shared Amy’s story with us from her perspective. When Linda spoke about the day she found out her daughter died, I could feel my heart break—not because she cried or sounded depressed—but because I could only picture my own parents at home and how they would feel if they had to receive that phone call that Amy’s parents did on that day in 1993. But Linda made it clear that the point of her story was not Amy’s death but about what Amy’s life stood for and what happened after her death.

During her time in South Africa, Amy had expressed to her parents the situation that was going on regarding racial violence and explained the anger of the black people, particularly after one of their young leaders had just been assassinated. (I am writing this mostly from memory so I don’t know the name of the person but I believe he was thought to have the potential to be the next Nelson Mandela.) So when Amy died a short time after this, her parents knew that this issue was much bigger than Amy and they understood that it was not personal. If they chose to hate the people who killed her, they would only be contributing to the hatred that Amy spent her life trying to end. Instead, Amy’s family decided to set up a foundation in her honor that helps disadvantaged communities, particularly members of the youth, in the townships of Cape Town. Not only do they work to help the community where their daughter was killed but they have also made peace with her murderers and two of them currently work for the foundation.

I chose to share this story in my blog because it touched my heart and has continued to inspire me throughout my journey around the world. I believe that Amy’s story is the perfect example of the way that one person’s life can impact the world. However, I also believe that it holds a message that is quite the opposite. And that is that there is a love that is so much bigger than any of us human beings—a love that has the power to forgive even the most hurtful of acts, a love that transcends time and doesn’t know race… a love that is so much bigger than this planet. As I travel around the world, I get to know this love a little bit better every day. Every person I meet and story I hear brings me back to my heart and closer to this great love.

 

The Grandma

 

Savings Club

 

 

 

Letting the kids see themselves on my camera

Children in our cab driver's neighborhood

The bedroom in the shack

Inside the shack

The shack we visited in one of the townships in Cape Town

Township Visit

Mike, Anna, and I spent one of our afternoons in Cape Town visiting some of the townships.  These townships were built by the government during the apartheid and were designated for non-white people.  We visited four different townships: Nyanga (“moon”), Langa (“sun”), Guguletu, and Khayelitsha.  Some of the neighborhoods are made up of shacks and others have actual houses.  We had the chance to visit a shack of a woman who was friends with our cab driver and we also had the chance to go to our cab driver’s home and meet his family.  Had we not done this, my view of Cape Town and South Africa would have been completely different.  Although we had passed the townships on our way to shark diving and wine tasting, we were mostly sheltered from seeing this way of life until we took the time to drive through them and visit with the people.

When we first arrived at the shack, we were introduced to the woman who lives there.  She welcomed us inside.  Her home was small, but surprisingly more spacious than the way it looked from the outside.  Since all of the other shacks were so close by, we could hear loud music being played next door and muffled conversations of the neighbors.  When we first walked in the door, we were in an area that included the kitchen, living room, laundry room, and everything else—all in a space the size of a large closet.  When we walked into her bedroom, which was the only room separate from the main area, I could see that she had been working on making some type of jewelry because I saw beads and string on her bed and a book with instructions for making jewelry.  It was the middle of the day and she was sitting alone in her room doing this.  We learned that she used to have a job working for an NGO that helped women with HIV and AIDS but for whatever reason she didn’t have that job anymore and making jewelry was the only thing she could do to try and make money.  (Unfortunately, many of the people who live in the townships are unemployed.)

Next, we drove to our cab driver’s home, which was in a nicer neighborhood in a different township.  We pulled up to his house and saw tons of little kids running around in the street and coming in and out of the house.  I knew that our cab driver only had two children who were 11 and 13 so I wasn’t sure who all these little kids were.  Either way, I went right over to them to say hello.  Within seconds I was surrounded by a mob of kids who were running their hands through my hair, touching my face with their sticky fingers, and looking straight into my eyes with curiosity.  I started taking pictures and videos of them with my camera, which I showed to them after.  When they saw themselves on the screen, they would scream with excitement.  I don’t know how much time went by while I was outside with the kids, but apparently Mike and Anna had already been given a tour of the home because when they came back outside they were laughing and shaking their heads as if to say, “Why are we not surprised to find you out here?”  (No matter where we are or what we are doing, I always find a way to play with kids.)

I had to pull myself away so that I’d have time see the house and meet the members of our cab driver’s family before we had to leave.  Anna and Mike stayed outside and the cab driver was getting ready to go, so I went inside by myself.  I peeked into a bedroom where a woman was sitting on a bed next to two little babies and another woman was lying down on another bed.  The woman who was lying down looked like she was being treated for something because there were bandages around her leg.  I walked over to the women and hugged them each of them and thanked them for letting me into their home.  I don’t know why it is so easy for me to embrace complete strangers in other countries when I know I would feel awkward initiating this in the United States.  Back in the U.S., people know better than to waltz right into the bedroom of a home they are visiting for the first time.  However, in places like this, where so many people are crammed into a small house, there is not much privacy, which creates a feeling of openness.

After hugging them, I started asking them questions.  “Who lives here?” “Is this your baby?  She’s so adorable!”  I told them that their home was lovely and that all of the children were so beautiful.  I asked if they minded me taking pictures….  Just when I started to think I was being too forward and getting too close, the woman who had been sitting on the bed looked up, gave me a huge smile, and walked me out of the bedroom and into the main area of the house.  She very proudly told me that this was her home and that she would be happy to pose for my picture if I would like to have a picture of her.  I told her of course I did, and I could not help but smile while this large, completely unashamed, woman posed brilliantly for my camera.  I could tell that at that moment she felt special and proud—proud of her family and proud of her home.  I could also tell that she loved how happy I was to be there, and it’s true, I was so happy to be there.  I then linked arms with her and asked if she minded me looking around at the rest of the house.

It is amazing how much you get if you just ask.  Why are we so afraid to do this in the United States?  Why are we scared to touch people or get too close?  We are so worried that we might offend someone or that our questions might be too personal.  So instead, we keep our distance.  But I’d rather risk being a little too forward than miss out on the opportunity to experience this intimacy with other people.  So far, no one has turned down my hugs or refused to answer my questions.  I’ve found that people are happy to share about themselves and they are usually just as curious about me. 

My new friend led me to a room in the back of the house and said, “Grandmother.”  Inside, an elderly woman, also heavy, was sitting on a bed with one of the little children clinging onto her legs.  The woman was excited to tell me that this was her mother and that they were “mother and daughter.”  I asked about the child to try and understand if this was “grandma and granddaughter.”  I got a smile and what seemed like a half-yes, but there was still something more that I wasn’t getting. 

We moved on to another room in the house.  I opened the door and saw about 10 women sitting in a circle.  I realized there was no way that all of these women were family members so there was no point in me every asking if they were all “cousins” or “sisters.”  It was becoming clear to me that this home was filled with many more people than just the family—a concept I didn’t really understand.  Sure, we have friends and family over, but usually there is a reason, such as a birthday, holiday or planned get together.  And I always considered our home a welcoming place, where the door is always open, but on regular basis, in the middle of a weekday, our house isn’t a place where all of our family, friends, and neighbors convene.

It was obvious that these women weren’t all related, but it also didn’t appear to be a casual group of friends.  It looked like a meeting of some sort and there was a bowl of money in the middle.  That voice in my head was telling me I should just turn around and not ask questions because it was probably rude and too personal.  But I ignored that voice and walked right in.  I introduced myself and started making conversation.  I learned that it was a “savings club.”  I was relieved.  Part of me expected them to say something like, “a secret meeting for prostitutes.”  That would have been awkward, especially considering that I would have probably sat down with them and started asking them questions for my sexuality class.  But it wasn’t a group of hookers (even though that would’ve explained the money.)  Instead, it was a group of women who regularly get together to talk about saving money for food.  They explained to me that they usually try to save about 500 rand to invest each month.  At the end of the year they take all the money and go to the “big grocery shop” and buy things wholesale.  I probably should have joined them after all—I could learn a thing or two about saving money.

Before I knew it, I was being called to leave by our cab driver.  I forgot we had told him that we needed to be back by a certain time.  Otherwise I would’ve stayed there all day.  I said my goodbyes to the women I’d met and on my way out I waved goodbye to all of the little children. In the car on the way back to the ship, I asked my cab driver who all of the little children were.  He explained to me that they don’t have parents or homes so they stay with families in the neighborhood.  He described a few of the children who stay with his family.  I asked if it is like adoption and he said yes.  It’s sad that he didn’t mention them in the beginning when I asked about his kids, but I guess it’s different for them with so many little children without homes.  So instead of just one of the children being considered a member of their family, they take care of all of the children and consider them all children of the neighborhood family.  As much as it breaks my heart to think of these children without their own moms and dads, I could not imagine a kinder family to watch over them.

Tyrone, Pablo, Trevor, Mike, and Ryan

View from Signal Hill ... There is a golf course down there if you can see. (Mom & Dad- in case you ever want to plan a family vacation to Cape Town, you guys can play golf and I'll have plenty of other stuff to do)

Signal Hill

Ryan, Pablo, Me, and Mike

New Friends

On our second night in Cape Town we met a group of guys who live in Cape Town but grew up together in another part of South Africa about 7 hours away.  (We learned that it is very common for people to move to Cape Town after high school, either to work or to go to college.)  The place where they are from is on the coast so they are all surfers.  When we asked them about their nationalities, they all seemed to be a combination of English and Afrikaaner.  We ended up hanging out with them for the rest of our time in South Africa, which was very convenient for them since they were on “holiday”.  Although, to be quite honest, I’m not sure how much their schedules change when they are not on holiday.  They have a very relaxed lifestyle.  They listen to music, play videogames, and hangout.  I don’t think we ever saw them wear shoes and when we asked them about going out to a club we had heard about, they all looked at each other, laughed, and said, “No, we can’t go there, you have to wear a collared shirt to get in.”  Out of the five of them, only one of them had a phone.  They also didn’t have laptops and didn’t seem to use the internet very often.  This isn’t to say that all people from South Africa are like this, but these particular surfer guys were very “mellow” (a word they used often to describe anything that was good, cool, alright, chill, fine… For example, “don’t worry about it, it’s mellow.”)

One of the best parts about hanging out with these guys was listening to how they talked.  In addition to “mellow,” we also learned a lot of other phrases and new uses of words.  For example, “cruise” referred to driving a car.  “Let’s cruise” or “I think he wants to cruise soon” were used often.  They also said “Awe” but pronounced it “a-WAY,” and this was another word for cool or nice.  They said “bro” a lot, but also “brew/bru” when they addressed each other.  “See you later, bru” or “No way, bru” were used a lot.  And the most commonly used phrase in their vocabulary was definitely “one love.”  Whether it was the way they talked or the things they said I don’t know, but what I do know is that from the second we met them until we had to say goodbye, we never stopped laughing.  Again, I wish I was able to post videos because these guys could make anyone laugh—particularly one named Tyrone. 

In addition to their language, we also got to see other aspects of their culture.  We listened to their music and were able to see how it compares to the kind of music we listen to in the United States.  Of course, their group of friends probably has its own taste in music, but it was still interesting to see which artists and songs were popular in South Africa.  On one of their TV stations that would be similar to our MTV or VH1 they played a lot of Rihanna, Beyonce, and Lady Gaga.  (I swear that people from every country know who Lady Gaga is.)  We also played card/drinking games with them, which was fun to see which games were the same as ours and which were different.  Lastly, they took us to a really pretty lookout spot called Signal Hill which had a beautiful view of the city and the water.  A lot of families and couples were there having picnics.  The weather was perfect.  It was such a nice afternoon and one of the many great memories I will have of my new South African friends. 

 

Lauren, Meredith, Amanda, Anna, & Me

One of the pictures Andrea took of the view

 

The third wine tasting place

Antelope

Ostriches

Little guitars made out of old Coke cans.... Lots of the crafts were made with recycled materials.

Beaded key chains..... Decorations made out of beads are very popular in South Africa

 

The second wine tasting place

 

Meredith, Lauren, Amanda, Jane, Andrea, Anna, and Me

 

Jane and I living the dream

 

The first place we went to in Stellenbosh

Wine Tasting

On our second day in South Africa we went wine tasting.  Before coming on SAS I had no idea that wine tours were a popular activity to do in South Africa.  However, it was recommended to us by several people who had been on SAS or had been to South Africa before and many students seemed to have it in their plans.  Regardless, I would have been up for it since I love wine and I had never been wine tasting before.  We hired a driver for the day and he took us to 3 different places.  Each one was unique but they were all so beautiful in their own way.  As I write in my blog I am realizing that it is becoming more and more difficult to give things meaning because there are only so many times I can use the words “beautiful” and “my favorite” without having them lose their impact.  But take my word for it—these vineyards were incredible and the weather was perfect.

The first place we went to was a little white cottage that was surrounded by bright colored flowers and backed up to a beautiful vineyard.  The inside of the cottage was filled with interesting artwork and an elegant bar with wine glasses of all different shapes and sizes.  When we first walked outside onto the back patio we rested on large beanbag chairs and waited while they prepared our wine.  We felt like queens.  When it was time to try the wine, we all sat at a table and listened while the woman described the different grapes that went into making the various red and white wines.  At this point we were the only people there so we had the whole place to ourselves.  It was nice because it was only us girls.  Originally we were supposed to have some of our guy friends with us but we all agreed that it wouldn’t have been the same.

The second place we went to was very different.  One reason being there were other people there other than us.  This was partly because there was also a restaurant and a place where you could see different animals in the same area, which meant there were also local craftsman selling their artwork along the pathway. It was great because we got to see antelopes, ostriches, owls, and other popular animals of Africa without having to go somewhere else.  However, it was a little less intimate.  We also weren’t served our wine. (Heaven forbid!  I guess we had become a bit spoiled by this point.)  Instead, we had a little paper with our wine selections and each time we finished a glass, we had to go back up the bar and wait for our next one.  We were able to choose 5 out of the 8 different wines.  Each one we picked had a description on the back that matched up with it. For example, if you are “bold, laid back, comfortable, classic,” you would pick Merlot.  If you are “energetic, stylish, charming, crisp,” you would pick Sauvignon Blanc.  And so on and so forth.  I chose mine strictly based on the descriptions without looking at the wines and I ended up loving all of them. 

The final place we went to was in a wooden lodge that had an outdoorsy vibe to it with a fireplace and animals hanging on the walls.  It was pretty on the inside but the backyard was the best part.  We walked out the backdoor to one of the most picture-perfect places I’ve ever seen.  The patio stood in front of an open lawn filled with bright green grass, gardens, and a small pond. As if that wasn’t enough, there was a breathtaking view of mountains in the background.  We learned it is a very popular place for weddings and it is easy to see why.  Since we figured that none of us would likely get the chance to come back and have our wedding pictures taken there, my friends and I decided the next best thing would be to have a bunch of pictures of us taken there.  So our driver quickly transformed into professional photographer and followed us, already giggly from the wine, all around the lawn, capturing our girly group poses on camera.  I’m sure he loved it.  (Even though that was meant to be sarcastic, I actually do think he enjoyed his day with us because when we went back to the office later to pay, he told his boss, “these girls hired me to show them a good time in South Africa, but they really gave me a fun day.”  He was such a nice guy and I really appreciate his patience in putting up with so many chatty and excited girls all day.  I think he may have had daughters of his own.)

Again, I struggle to find the appropriate word to describe this day since I have had so many wonderful and unforgettable experiences throughout this journey and in South Africa alone.  However, this relaxing and intimate day filled with breathtaking views, delicious wine, and good conversation is one that I will always look back on and remember as absolute bliss.

Me and Kara

 

Timmy, Andrea, Me, and Jane

 

Jane and Me