Day of Silence

In between Capetown and Ghana I participated in “Day of Silence.”  Yes, you heard me correctly—silence for a whole day, meaning no talking.  I did it to take a stand against the bullying and harassment of members of the LBGTQ (lesbians, bisexuals, gays, transgender, and questioning) community.  The day of silence symbolizes the way that LBGTQ members and their allies are silenced.  Earlier this semester I went through the safe zone training so that I could serve as an ally for LBGTQ.  I have a sign on my door to let people know that it is safe for them to come and talk to me.  The sign reads “This is a safe zone.  I am understanding, non-judgmental, and willing to provide an atmosphere of acceptance and assistance for members of the LBGT community.”  Participating in Day of Silence was another way for me to show that I am an ally. 

In my Human Sexuality class, one of the topics we study and discuss is sexual orientation.  We look at its role throughout history and around the world, particularly focusing on the countries we visit.  Doing this allows us to go into each country with an understanding of where it has been and where it presently stands on issues of homosexuality.  What I learned was shocking.  Had I not been taking this class and looking out for it in each country, it probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind.  However, putting myself in the shoes of someone who is LBGTQ, it is impossible to ignore the tremendous consequences that “coming out of the closet” can have on a person’s life.  For example, I learned from one of my gay friends that, in 80% of the countries in the world, it is illegal to be homosexual.  Two of them are countries we have visited—Ghana and Mauritius.  However, even in countries where homosexuality is legal, such as the United States, it is not always safe for a person to come out.

I attended a “coming out” panel earlier in the semester where people shared their experiences of opening up to their friends and family about their sexuality back in the U.S.  Many people said that they had the most difficulty coming out to their families, particularly their parents.  However, once they did, many of them found that their parents were completely accepting, even if it took some time for them to get used to it.  Unfortunately, not everyone’s story was this way.  A few people shared about the way that one or several of their family members have openly expressed disgust or disapproval of homosexuality.  These attitudes have forced them to stay in the closet for years.  This has inevitably created a distance between them and their families and has instilled in them a fear of going back home.  The alternative to this would be spending time at home and constantly living a lie.  Many of the people had experienced so much psychological pain that they admitted to having thoughts of suicide at one time or another. 

Hearing these stories of people coming out to their parents in the United States, I can only imagine a person trying to “come out” in another part of the world, such as South Africa where a woman can be correctively raped if she is suspected of being a lesbian or Brazil where a 19 year old man was attacked and murdered in 2007 for being homosexual.  I thought about what it would be like to travel to one of these countries, knowing that it wasn’t safe.  For this reason I have chosen to be an ally to others on this ship.  Participating in Day of Silence was a way to recognize those who don’t have a voice.

As for keeping the silence, it was extremely difficult.  Not only because I am a huge talker, but also because it fell on a day that I would normally teach yoga.  However, everyone seemed to enjoy the silent yoga class and it allowed me to communicate in other ways.  It was actually quite refreshing.